Yesterday was my last day at TMZ.
Wow...It is seriously so weird saying that. This is the weirdest/saddest post I'll hopefully have to write for a long while.
A few months back I made the decision that I was not going to renew my contract at TMZ once it was up in October. After 3 1/2 years I felt it was my time to say goodbye. It has been such a mourning process realizing that the past few months were leading up to this moment. I've been happy, sad, scared, angry, excited, nervous, terrified...so many emotions, it's hard to explain. This was my very first position after college so it is definitely bitter sweet saying goodbye. It is all I have ever known.
I was always so afraid of Los Angeles and all of the amazing things it had to offer me because really... it held all of my wildest dreams. It held everything that could some day become a reality if I worked hard enough for it. I ran from it for so long, but eventually, in God's time, it came knocking at my door.
One day, about two months after college ended, I had accepted a job opportunity for an account executive position at Yelp in Scottsdale. Little did I know that that was not my path...I was never meant for Arizona and Hollywood came knocking at my door. I was about a week away from getting ready to pack my things up and head out to AZ when I got the call from Dax. I had been an intern for him the summer before my final few months of college and he was calling me to offer me a job on TMZ's new project, TMZ Live. It was a trial run with FOX, he told me, and he didn't know how long it would run for. He said it could run a few weeks, months or even years but if I wanted the job, it was mine, and could I come in the next day to start? I remember sitting on my bed crying and through the tears saying, "Yes, of course! I will be there on Thursday!" (this was a Tuesday and I had to give PF Changs, where I was hosting at the time, a days notice that I was heading to HOLLYWOOD! Nevermind Yelp, they never heard from me again). I drove up to work that Thursday afternoon and never looked back.
I am so thankful to have worked in one of the toughest, hardest working, entertainment news rooms in the world and I owe it all to Harvey and Dax. They believed in me and trusted me and pushed me to be the best that I could be and I grew and learned more in my 3 1/2 years there than I have the other 23 1/2 years of my life thus far.
Harvey Levin is one of the most fascinating and hard working human beings I have ever met and he has taught me things that one can only learn from the best of the best. I feel honored to have had his trust and support over the past few years I spent there. Reporting to him daily and having him let me lead a story until it was up on the website, is and was, one of the most rewarding feelings. I'm so thankful to have been able to call him my boss and friend.
Dax Holt, my mentor, my boss, the big brother I never had. He taught me everything I know about this industry and opened up his world to me. He lead me to my career and opened my eyes to a whole new side of life I didn't know existed or that was attainable. Dax taught me how to keep my head up, be confident, be fearless but always keep calm, cool and collected. He also taught me the most important thing of all: to believe in myself. Somehow he taught me all of this, without actually telling me, because he exudes all of those qualities and doesn't even realize it.
All of what I learned during my time at TMZ was and is life changing. I will never be the same and I will never work the same again. I will always push harder and work harder and for that, I am forever grateful.
Going forward I have a few things in the works I'm very excited to share... but not just yet! One of them though you already know about...my blog! I'll be keeping up with this and writing more posts about my life, fashion, make up, entertainment news, and maybe some DIY projects as well as keeping up with you all! Thank you for being a part of this journey with me. It is just the beginning!